I believe that everyone should consider themselves to be "Students", at least in part, until the day they die. Hopefully at that point they will move on to "Post-Grad" study. Some of you, however, may be required to take many courses over before this happens. You know who you are. With this in mind, the following is a brief exercise to make sure you Learned a little something from the tale entitled "The Creature Called Man". Please, just this once, do the required reading BEFORE doing the exercise! Again, you know who you are.
1.THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF MAN MAY BE SUMMED UP BY...
a) Someone should have, but they didn't.
b) It all went downhill after the bright, shiny bits.
c) The Beasts called "Sheep" should be insulted by the comparison.
d) What the BLOODY HELL were they thinking?
e) All of the above.
2.MAN'S FINEST WORKS INCLUDED...
a) Sticking the little crunchy bits into The Earth.
b) His Dreams (Because his reality has usually tended to SUCK!)
c) Laws and Doctors (In the beginning, before he screwed them up.)
d) Mostly the stuff left behind the bush.
e) All of the above
3.WHEN IN DOUBT, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BLAME...
a) The Engineers
b) The Lawyers
c) The Corporations
d) The stuff behind the bush.
e) All of the above.
4.OTHER THINGS WE LEARNED INCLUDE...
a) The term "Bonkers" has been around a damned long time.
b) Neck Rubs are STILL a VERY GOOD idea. (So is TOILET PAPER!)
c) If it's called a "Bush", we know what's behind it.
d) I am a SERIOUSLY SARCASTIC BASTARD!
e) All of the above.
5.THOSE WHO MAY TAKE EXCEPTION WITH THIS TALE INCLUDE...
a) Sheep (Who've always had it hard, even before the Greeks, the Scots, and a host of lonely ranchers from Oklahoma.)
b) Greeks, Scots, and a host of ranchers from Oklahoma. (After reading "a")
c) Lawyers, Corporations, and a FEW Engineers (Most Engineers will agree!)
d) Anyone who proudly stands behind a BUSH. (Was the smell not a clue?)
e) Anyone with their head shoved COMPLETELY up their own ASS! (a.k.a. All of the above.)
Thank you for taking the time to Learn. I do hope you all realized that the correct answer to ALL the questions was "e) All of the above." If this was NOT the case for you, you may well have to take the entire course over. Yes, it's you again! To those who STILL have a problem with this tale, I can only ask, most humbly, that you would, please, PISS OFF!
Always Learning. Always Teaching.
My Native Tongue
Anyone who has ever traveled to a foreign country where theirs is not the prevalent language, has probably noticed that they can hear their mother tongue spoken even across a crowded and noisy room. My ears are keener still, for I can hear my native tongue spoken from 4 blocks away! My native tongue is Bullshit.
When, in the same foreign country, a native of that land tries to converse with you in your own language, you appreciate the effort, regardless of how clumsy their attempt may be. After a while, however, even the most polite traveler, may note that prolonged exposure to the butchering of their mother tongue tends to grate on one's ear. In this, I am no different. While I appreciate those of you who try to speak proper Bullshit to me, after successive clumsy attempts, it does offend my ear.
For this reason, I shall try to confine my musings to English, but, should I occasionally lapse into my Native Tongue, please, bear with me and do not feel obliged to join me on a similar linguistic tangent.
If this note offends you, you should probably leave now, before my thoughts on Religion and Politics cause you serious distress.
Tears and Rage
When I was a child I was taught of America. It was a Fabled Land where the milk and honey of Freedom ran in the streets, conceived by an idealistic people who, having felt themselves oppressed for so long, rose up and threw out their oppressors. It was born of a miracle of courage and determination that led landed gentry and peasant farmers, merchants and tradesmen, Protestants and Catholics to see beyond their personal differences, band together, and rise up as one, declaring to the world, "We will bear the yoke of tyranny no more!"
And I believed. From the spacious skies to the amber waves of grain, I believed. I was fortunate enough to be able to travel this land from sea to shining sea, and I believed. Then I saw poverty and hunger. I saw ignorance and bigotry. I saw hatred. I asked how these could exist in such a glorious and just land, and, much like the boy who could not see the Emperor's New Clothes, I was shushed. So I did as I was told, and I was quiet. I did as I has been taught, and I believed. I still do.
The words that will follow in this place do not evince any change in that belief. Rather, it is as a result of that belief that I feel compelled to write them now. If you have known something precious when it was bright and new, and then you see it tarnished and worn, even cast down in the mud and trampled upon, do you not weep to see its abuse and do everything in your power to lift it up and repair it as best you can? If you know that abuse to be deliberate, do you not feel rage?
I see this Fabled Land, once a shining beacon in the night to the oppressed throughout the world, now tarnished and soiled. Her noble flag, woven of hope in the face of despair, and defended with the blood of her Heroes, that blessed Star Spangled Banner, I see now tattered and worn. I weep to see these abuses, and I would repair them. I see the sacred parchments of "We the People" and the precious ideals they espouse cast down in the mud and wantonly trampled. I see the very precepts upon which this nation was founded twisted and betrayed for personal gain, and I rage!
This does not mean that my belief has been lessened. My Faith in this nation and that for which it once stood is stronger than ever. It is those things for which it has been made to stand that give me pause. It is the flagrant usurpation of individual freedoms, once held so dear, that move me to tears. It is the brazen betrayal of the public trust for political and financial gain which leads me to rage! I am not moved to such strong emotions by any weakening of my belief, but rather by its strength.
I still believe. But I also still see, and, unlike that child who questioned so long ago, I will no longer be shushed. The Emperor has NO new clothes! In fact, he's stealing yours! These are my tears. This is my rage. Where, in the name of all that is right, and just, and decent, are yours?
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